It’d be such a different story if I had a broken arm, or a dysfunctional liver, or being blind in one eye. Because then I’d have something to point at when i feel bad and say “this is my problem, this is what makes me feel different, and makes me question everything.”
(I am in NO WAY saying any of these things are easier or better or worse, please don’t read into that wrong or get offended.)
Instead I have some kind of chemical imbalance that has me lying to my friends, and calling home in the middle of the night begging for them to do something to help.
I can’t point at what’s wrong, or what hurts, or how i can be fixed.